The London Triathlon: The epilogue

I don't know if many of you have ever actually been to a Triathlon, but on Saturday our eyes were opened to a hitherto unknown world of lycra, energy bars and Olympic levels of keen-ness from an assortment of individuals. The Triathlon 'Tragics' were easy to spot from a distance - carrying thousands of pounds worth of equipment but not an extra pound of fat on them, as they warmed up in the designated areas hours in advance of their events. Spotted in such a category was my old England team mate Rory Underwood, who still looked fit enough to add to his record tally of England tries. He texted me later that night saying that he had completed the Olympic distance of 1500 m swim, 40km bike and 10k run in 3:15 which is a spectacular effort. Makes me sick really. At the other end of the spectrum was our category of fundraisers and novices who were all overwhelmed by this extraordinary world that was unraveling before our very eyes.

The first race off was the Sprint Relay, and we had entered 2 teams. The Sprint distances are 750 m swim, 20 km bike and 5k run. Due to an administrative error by the race organizers, these teams had been given random names - one being 'Can't swim, won't swim' (and how), the other being the Birmingham Midshires Team (answers on a postcard please). Having squeezed into our wetsuits, Caroline and I headed off to the murky waters of the Thames where we had to swim out 50 metres to get to the start line. My worst fears came true when, on entering the water, I opened my eyes underwater and couldn't see my hand 2 feet in front of my face. Shame on you Thames Water. All I could remember was the advice to keep my mouth shut as much as possible (not the first time people have said to me). Caroline had bravely decided to take on all comers from the front of the field, thus putting herself directly in the firing line for the mass brawl that ensued as the klaxon went off to start the race.

Having not had any experience of swimming in open water, apart from a booze cruise up the Zambezi in the early 90's that almost went horribly wrong, my main tactic was to take it steady and pick my way through the field trying to avoid as much contact as possible (sounds like a throw back to my playing days). Apart from a few directional issues, Caroline and I managed to get through the swim in reasonable times, but coming out of the water proved to be the hardest part of the day. Looking like I'd just come out of the Piano Bar in La Manga, I staggered and swayed trying to catch my breath and then had the small issue of taking off my wetsuit before clambering up the stairs and jogging down to T1 - the first transition from swim to bike. I understand that good transitions should take in the region of 2-3 minutes each, so my 6 minutes stumbling around was ever so slightly behind schedule…

Despite setting off looking like I'd just been on the receiving end of a Jason Leonard lunch, the bike phase was not too bad, and with the shrill cheers of our amazing support team of 1 spurring me on, I managed to make up some time on two wheels to get our team into a reasonable position. Despite nearly decapitated myself on the dismount - bloody cleats - I hand over to Lou who does a sterling job on the run, completing the 5k run only a minute over the boys times - great stuff from the Ascot flier.

Back at the transition stage Caroline is sporting a beautiful shiner from an ABH assault in the water, so is looking every inch the triathlete, whilst Laura waits nervously for Zoe to complete the bike phase. When Zoe comes in the exchange of number and chip would be the envy of the slickest of F 1 team's. Like a speeding bullet, Laura takes on the 5k safe in the knowledge that all those hours of training will pay off over the next 30 minutes.

As the Edinburgh flyer comes into the home straight, she is joined triumphantly by all the PRA relay members and we cross the line ecstatic that this brainwave has come to an end.

It's fair to say that there is nothing as enjoyable as the smug feeling of having completed your triathlon when 3 of your colleagues have it all to do later that afternoon. Having given Alex, Matt and Fiona a host of tips - we are now all officially experts - we tucked into our lunch of pasta and Gatorade and assumed our positions by the water as Alex and Matt went head to head in the Men's Sprint. Trying to spot the boys as 450 blokes jostle for position is impossible - in fact also not dissimilar to the Piano bar in La Manga - so we wait patiently as Matt appears first from the water looking very focused - apart from the big grin on his face - and heads off up the stairs to the next phase of this 90 minute torture. Alex is only a couple of minutes behind, and as he peels off his swimsuit looking like David Charvet from Baywatch, he sets off after his colleague. Great times on the bike and run phases confirm Matt as the champion triathlete as he comes home in a very respectable 1:27:20. Matt confesses afterwards that if he hadn't gone to South Africa and enjoyed so much local hospitality he could easily have shaved 3 seconds off that time - fighting talk indeed.

Special mention goes to Fiona who had to wait all day until her 4.30 start in the Women's Sprint, by which time the heavens had opened making her accomplishment even more remarkable. A brilliant effort by all the team who took this challenge on with the typical gusto, good humour and can do attitude, I was really proud of the way everyone went about this, even though the training had not exactly been..er…text book stuff.

Lots of smiles and sense of achievement after the event, and after the success of this year, I've decided to look at more exotic destination for next year's event. After extensive research we've signed up for the Hull Triathlon in 2010. Not sure it gets much better really.

Thanks to all of you who have contributed to this worthy cause - at the time of writing we are fast approaching the £2, 000 mark, so we are really grateful for all your support - it means an awful lot to all of us and the players we help. Thanks to all the team - well done you - and I'm looking forward to announcing what physical challenge Stuart, Josh and Tim will be doing in the coming season to ensure they don't feel left out. You know it makes sense chaps..

You can still sponsor the PRA Triathlon team, who are raising funds for the PRA Benevolent Fund, the Players' Charity, at www.justgiving.com/pratriathlon

To read previous PRA Triathlon blogs go to www.prarugby.com/triathlon